In June or July 2019, my research partner José Silvestri and I traveled to St. Augustine, Florida to meet Justin and Arya Murphy, Luke Ford, and some other young men gathered at Barnes & Noble for an “Other Life meet-up.” Seeing that I was itching to treat on what I research, Dr. Murphy invited me to give a short talk on Wilhelm Reich, his psychoanalytic ideas, the orgasm theory, and, briefly, orgone energy. When I concluded, he informed me that he had secretly recorded the whole thing, claiming he did so in secret so I would speak more naturally, or something to that effect. I would later discover that the recording of my rather mundane and purely informative speech, a combination of regurgitation and synthesis, was cut short at exactly thirty-three minutes and archived.
At the time I did not know what an “other life” was. My one and only life, that which I put toward the world for worldly interactions is the same entity as the libidinal economist who publishes here. It turns out not everyone can easily inform someone who happens to be a beautiful woman, for instance, about orgastic potency in a purely scientific way. I have always assumed everyone is like me though I also understood I was different in a way I couldn’t put my finger on. Could this have something to do with why people are still so reluctant to spread the good news?
Months later I found myself on forum.indiethinkers.org, a well-organized, forum style website with easy access to past posts and tools for sorting them. It was one of the nodes enclosed in a loose conglomeration of independent intellectuals all connected through Justin. Justin had left his post as a professor at some college in the midst of being investigated for calling someone a “retard” on the internet. Indiethinkers promised to be an online safe harbor for all those weary of the university and its silly antics, mainly its censorship. I was “grandfathered” into the program at ten dollars a month in exchange for factoids about maximizing reach and getting views, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Recapitulating the general trend in user interface layout exemplified by the descent of Windows 10 and IOS, indiethinkers would later migrate to an opaque facebook style feed complete with liking and @-ing features. Keep in mind I can only remark on the parts of the site I had access to. As to what frat house rites went on above, it’s anybody’s guess.
I was very enthusiastic about sharing what I found in the only books to have been burned by the U.S. federal government on domestic soil. Imagine my excitement. Tyranny, violence and poverty resulted from epidemic sexual dysfunction. The entire economy existed at the expense of everyone’s sexual fulfilment and, even more interesting, people entered disadvantageous relationships – economic, political and sexual – because of universal but unacknowledged traumatic experiences! But wait; it gets even better! People had no recourse to exit these relations because, as soon as they did, intolerable but unconscious bodily excitations seized them as they teetered precariously between exercising their true wills and falling back into subservience! Furthermore, Dr. Reich discovered that, in a therapeutic setting, every such hurdle could be overcome by visceral expression, that each hurdle concealed an older, more repressed hurdle, and that once they were all finally done away with, a specific orgasm reflex appeared at the height of sexual excitation!!! I call it the lost reflex. With a few exceptions, all this fell on deaf ears. Sex-economy was just my version of their own unique projects.
When I posted Medicine Should Be Abolished, Justin said in a nicer way that no one would read a ten page blog post from a nobody and that every paragraph should be broken down into its own article centered around one idea. In other words, he suggested that I create several scattered premises leading nowhere instead of an argument with premises and a conclusion that follows. This would have allowed me to make the most impressions as they’re called, maximizing the odds of accumulating a following that I could extract money from. This didn’t sit well with me but such comments inspired me to write the Core Concepts Series so people could at least know what the terms meant. Justin was generous enough to include the first, Libido, in his Signs of Life newsletter. Without bothering to ask me what the purpose of my series was, he sent an email to hundreds stating that it was
[a] “core concepts’ series on Reichian psychoanalysis. These are intended as short and useful explainers for specific topics in Wilhelm Reich’s philosophy.Justin Murphy, December 2, 2019
When I told him it was on my philosophy, not Dr. Reich’s, he seemed irritated and said, in a nicer way, that no one would care about what I had to say so we have to pull a bait and switch. This made me feel as though I was reduced to a mere deterritorialized flow of desire – no longer human, a string of text to be channeled into a monetization hopper, a set of capacitor states to be employed in the illusion that, with enough views, likes and retweets, the stinking corpse of humanity can be galvanically reanimated like a severed frog leg, the illusion that the internet is anything more than drunken escape from the reality of mass sexual dysfunction, its advocates bent on turning every social relation into parasitism and wiping out the last vestige of genitality which, by its otherworldly power, continues to gnaw at their hearts and induces them to depict their putrid interiors in their work for all to see … need I go on?
The devastating article How To Have Mind-Blowing Orgasms, which not even I am Hyperborean enough to keep on my blog, was also met with crickets chirping on indiethinkers for the most part. I guess everyone already knows how to have mind-blowing orgasms – but then again, even the most superficial orgonomic survey of “society” suggests otherwise. In an effort to avoid redundancy, the self-explanatory title was submitted as a hyperlink. I also included an excerpt from the paragraph which related reactions to George Floyd’s murder with unconscious, muscular suffocation of the genitals (armoring) and proclaimed the futility of diverting energies naturally concerned with orgastic convalescence into substitute actions. One person, according to the WordPress data, presumably of the female sex, circumnavigated to the article by entering the title in a search engine instead of clicking the link directly. Rest assured, Justin will never know she had any interest in such base things – or that she wasn’t already an orgasm expert.
Dr. Murphy was caught off guard! Evidently he was excited and curious but couldn’t risk upsetting the balance of whatever he thought our relationship was. Like Mime, the disgusting dwarf from Siegfried, he only needed to know one thing. But instead of asking forthrightly, he was compelled to plot and connive. He knew this was a delicate situation; he had garnered undeserved respect. Sincerity and authenticity had to be excluded from the calculations lest they ruin everything again … but there wasn’t enough to bite! There was nothing for him to beat down with that negative cathexis his unreciprocated labor as a scholar endowed him with. Yes, I’m talking about that. Like a typical “doctor of philosophy,” he had to get me to spell it out for him so he could deflect my outward enterprise and secure another dopamine ejaculation for his mesolimbic pathway, his disgusting food, while I was to hobble off and seek another path to acceptance. I tell you he’d need, generously, a hundred thousand indie thinkers to do what we do here in solitude and with the whole world despising us: positive science.
Thrice it was yours to ask questions,The Wanderer, Siegfried Act I
thrice I stood at your behest:
but empty knowledge you sought;
the want that lies at your door,
your own need you know not;
now when I find it, your wits are dazed;
hear, you fallen dwarf:
Only he who has never known fear
can forge Nothung anew!
Exposed to the infallible cipher of orgonotic expression, he was forced to divulge that, to him, there’s no way an article called How To Have Mind-Blowing Orgasms could actually be about having mind-blowing orgasms. Judging only the title, he condemned as “humorous” and “click-baity” my solemn work on an issue which will soon require the world’s life. Then he cunningly demanded a description that also conveniently appealed to his band for their precious time. Sensing the ruse, I commented something to the effect of: “I didn’t want anyone who couldn’t handle it to see it.”
As if I just needed to get the insolence out of my system so we can all go on pretending, he deleted the comment from his website. Maybe he thought that since he couldn’t keep his composure entertaining such ideas, no one could. Maybe he thought it wasn’t me but my “other life” commenting and that I wouldn’t remember. I only have one life. Regardless, it took less than a year for indiethinkers to embody the very narrow-mindedness, censorship and mean-spirited games it was allegedly a reaction against – unless you think this one doesn’t count. You can’t just sweep things under the rug because you have a doctorate and a smartphone. I immediately reinstated the comment, pointed to the fact that it disappeared, and drove home the point he’s a “doctor of philosophy.” Philosophy? get real. Then I assaulted the page with my mouse and found that the areas I clicked later disappeared like my deleted comment.
Unwilling to tolerate such gas-lighting, I absconded and deprived them of my work. What the hell was I doing there? learning these things, I suppose. To be fair, indiethinkers is what you make out of it. But I think it should be called the indie-but-not-too-indiethinkers. I wish Justin the best, but his endeavor – not the one he talks about – will fall flat on its face because he forgot one very important thing. If you don’t know what that is, ask your “other life.” As for me, I think I’ll have no problem getting by in the real world.