MIND KONTROL, Balkan Style!

Colonel Dragutin “Apis” Dimitrijević loved assassination to a fault. Yes, it was he who led the May Coup plotters in that most heinous of crimes: regicide. So went Alexander I of Serbia and – I don’t know why it had to be – Draga Obrenović, the Queen Consort. On his resume was an attempt at the life of Emperor Franz Josef I of Austria. As we shall see, he had a hand in killing that wise regent’s nephew, Archduke Ferdinand. We will never know how many he was involved in planning, only that he was obsessed. In terms of libidinal economy, plotting and carrying out assassinations served to exhaust intolerable drive energy which would otherwise threaten to make repressed complexes conscious.

Dimitrijević (right) and his colleagues planning something, presumably an assassination

But Apis could not do all this plotting by himself. No, he founded an organization which, at its core, had the purpose of maximizing the rate and efficiency with which its leaders could unwind themselves and transcend what they knew to be human – all this through unnatural means. Its periphery was a conglomeration of young rebels and nationalists, the most adept of whom were fed crumbs from the table of their superiors’ dark mysteries. Of course I speak of Unification or Death, which members of the Serbian parliament later referred to as The Black Hand.

The extremely creative logo, with hand grenade, dagger and bottle of poison, puts the Drama Mineralis arms to shame! On the right, a young Captain Apis

As unbelievable as it sounds, let me tell you about Dimitrijević’s Reverse Crucifixion Rite for the Initiation of Dry Assassins, or at least the version of it I was told. It’s somewhat like those attributed to ibn Hassan by Wilson in Prometheus Rising. Why were they called dry? I wish I could forget!

The candidate was usually a South-Slavic young man of low status, sympathetic to pan-Slavism, Yugoslav nationalism or the general liberation of Slavs from Austro-Hungarian rule. Ideally, his relationship to his family and friends had deteriorated.

First he would have been offered a cigarette adulterated with opium and renowned Balkan hashish. A deep somnolence ensued and the candidate would have been taken to a hill which the officers called Golgotha. There he was fixed to a cross – by ropes of course – and the officers awaited his rousing. When the candidate awakened, they uprooted the cross, laid it on the ground and untied him. As night fell, he was forced to drag his cross down the hill into a garden. None other than Dragutin Dimitrijević was lying in wait, hiding in a bush and anticipating a rôle whose execution provided him with a pleasure that you and I cannot imagine. The colonel would spring from the bush like the blossoms of April. He would shout “Hail Rabbi!” in drawn-out lascivious ecstasy, kiss the candidate on the cheek and pour a goblet of very sweet wine down his throat. The wine was infused with opium as well and the candidate slumbered again. Then he was returned to some inconspicuous conditions and, upon arising, had no recollection of the rite.

Unification or Death ritual crucifix

What good is this for generating patsies? Well, all Dimitrijević had to do was imagine that delectable feeling he got playing his part as the betrayer, and the candidate, if he was successful in the ordeals, entered a state of suggestibility. In conjunction with other measures, Dimitrijević’s application of this device at crucial moments steered the candidate through his transformation.

Removed from society, the candidate divested from the cathexes foisted upon him thereby. The routines by which he formerly abided were replaced with a disorientating regimen of fasting, meditation, ritual sacrament taking, lectures, exercise and training. As the former modes of libidinal metabolism were dissolved, the candidate began to experience a pleasant buzzing feeling in his body (known in psychiatric orgonomy as charge). By virtue of the condition which the Skandalkonzert composers tried to inform us about, this natural feeling and marker of bodily health is largely unknown to people, especially to those low-status young men for whom these methods were designed. They asked their handlers, “what is this enigmatic sensation?” They were told it’s Prince Vlastimir’s spirit or the Archangel Michael or whatever. Thereafter the handlers’ task was to cultivate this feeling. It goes without saying that the candidate had to remain continent. The once pleasurable sensation compounded until it became overwhelming. The whole process was timed so that the final stage would correspond with some real-world event at which the target was to be present.

Lastly, the candidate was made to equate his infernal work with that tension’s resolution. The process had so far been concerned with creating conditions of disequilibrium between various tissues and surfaces in the candidate’s body. Meanwhile, a narrative of national division had been instilled: if the South Slavs are unified, all our problems will be resolved. Of course this is a metaphor for the orgastic discharge. The Slavs are the candidate’s disjunct body parts. The Austro-Hungarian Empire is the sum of repressive forces prohibiting the unification of the body and the restoration of its functional movement in the orgasm reflex. The impending assassination is the ultimate release from unbearable sexual tension, the destruction of what thwarts unification and the final ensuring of libido-economic equilibrium: a Slavic golden age.

As for Gavrilo Princip, I was told he also underwent the Crucifixion Rite. The trauma he accrued at the Skandalkonzert exacerbated the tension and only by this inordinate quantity of energy was he able approach the royal motorcade. The rest is history.

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